The (Other) Bucket List

Day 5 in a house without water.

I awoke this morning to find that I had completely lost touch with the Environmentalist Within and after extravagantly using no less than three Adult Towellettes ( instead of enduring yet another  geriatric sponge bath), I then enjoyed my toast and peanut butter on a scrap of facial tissue (save the plate washing!) which the cat then decided to lick the residual essence off. As his tongue melted through the paper, completely spoiling his treat, he shot me a disgusted “Really-has-it-come-to-THIS”  look which there was no mistaking.

And I do feel badly about the waste but don’t judge.

These are trying times.

Once more, when I opened the front door this morning some dear, so-far anonymous friends had made a drop (no pun intended)  and there was a variety of different sizes of water left, some with the cautionary, yet comical designation of “Flush Only …”

The identity of said ‘AquaMarines’ is yet to be determined but so, so wonderful;  for another day or two, we need not worry about carrying in buckets or schlepping mammoth-sized jugs from the hardware store, walking as though one of my legs is a good deal shorter than the other.

The General and I decided today that we would have a peek ourselves to determine the state of the water in its cavern beneath the driveway since the whole point of this week has been to wait until the levels have gone down. In addition, today was unseasonably warm and much of our source (snow) has actually melted.

Boarding has been placed across the part of the driveway that has been excavated and the hole is honestly, at least six feet deep.

The General and I carefully moved the  chunks of asphalt that were weighing  the boards down and then together, both of us on our knees, cranked it open like a Vampire’s coffin complete with creaking effect and the kind of abject dread that accompanies the anticipation of yet another day without being able to wash your hands properly.

And Readers, I know this is exciting to no one else but there is no water AND the ground looks like sand, it’s so dry.

We are very, very happy but carefully happy if only for tonight just in case there are more plumbing dramas coming down the line, as it were.

I myself made sure that there is extra wine in the house just in case.

So tomorrow the plumbers return (I picture them coming up the driveway in slow-motion, their puffy orange suits like astronauts returning home, and oozing contractor-style chutzpah for the ordeal ahead).

Hopefully, we may very soon be showering at home once more and enjoying tea that no longer has twigs in it …

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