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This is not intended to be yet another gust of Pollyanna-overload – I only seek to catalogue a few of the things that have helped even a little during these endless days of sad news. I think it was Stephen Colbert, (himself one of these helpful things) who commented recently that he was really looking forward to not hearing the words “another grim milestone” every.single.day. I am also acutely aware how lucky we are to be able to plan and discuss coping strategies – because after all, the luxury of time, companionship and good food are all such individual gifts.
And I get that.
I realized lately that I have been doing some version of this coping style my entire life. When I was desperately unhappy at a new school and being regularly taunted, I would come home and tearfully make a list of everything – no matter how miniscule – that I had to look forward to the next day. It could be as simple as having class with a teacher I really liked or the day that my favourite show was on. These small things held me up, kept me going even as my heart was breaking. And slowly, eventually, I found that I was in a different moment in time – sans Mean Girls.
Maybe it seems ridiculous to apply such feeble acts to a Pandemic but it seems to be working so far and we are moving closer to spring each day.
10. Slow, luxurious breakfasts known only to The Retired (or those who rise early). Silky, scrambled eggs with a few gratings of Parmesan are cooked very slowly and then piled high on a piece of piping hot wholegrain toast, heavily buttered. A wobbly poached effort steaming on some avocado slices and the same kind of toast is also quite amazing. Coffee is served in a Mexican Majolica cup to be savoured and refilled twice. (The General is churlish without some kind of morning meat so he tends to rashers for himself). Eggs are provided by my brother’s happy hens as noted in other posts. I sometimes feel I am living the life of Rupert the Bear.
9. Plants! I really enjoy walking about and snipping a geranium leaf or two, enjoying the perfumed oil on my fingers. There are also African violets to admire and some stalwart orchids still in full bloom since Christmas Day and a plant-that-has-no-name but which I am inordinately fond of. The violets especially are putting on quite a show turning their purple faces to the sun. It’s all very encouraging.
8. Meaningful Conversations. One of the many things I love about The General is that he is as curious as I am about any number of topics and extremely well versed on many. He is currently obsessing over the Viking conquests (perhaps not the best example of sparkling banter) but he insists it somehow contributes to his “gaming time” (I speak of Valhalla here). We’ve also had some extensive chats about Jane Kenyon; women photographers; Nancy Drew; the films of Mickey Rooney; the real reason that T.S.Eliot was powdering his face green and the Stone of Scone.
(Like many people, we’ve also googled and discussed various perceived controversies within The Crown).
Truly, in a controlled line up, I would still select The General every time to be locked in with which I take to be a very good sign. (He also makes the best cup of tea).
7. Photographs – Although we both own decent cameras, there is still much to learn about how they actually work and to this end, we’ve been exploring lynda.com (available for free via our public library). Regular blasts of learning are not to be underestimated for their ability to cheer. Organizing is another thing altogether – we are both in a horrible state of flux with ALL of our photos – digital and otherwise – so I will not credit that as a “good thing.”
6. The New York Times. I always wanted to be that person who read the NYT every day but the price takes one’s breath away. One day I found myself discussing this in a very charming way with a NYT rep online who immediately said he could “work with me” and promptly offered a year subscription WITH crossword and food section included (unheard of!) for less than $5.00 a month!! Now we start our day with some of the finest writing available and the “At Home” section provides a weekly email with really solid suggestions for getting through these tough times. This week they suggested a French composer Dominique Charpentier whose music is otherworldly peaceful. After a NYT session, I feel faintly intellectual, validated and supported. I’m thinking I may have to pay full price if this deal cannot be replicated … it’s that good.
5. Bedding. I made a decision in the fall that I would try and make our bedroom as snug as possible for the winter. The bed itself is sporting a 30 year old mattress (and that will have to wait) but as sheets and pillows came on sale, I did revamp a few things. I also invested in a set of Euro pillows those big 26″ square pillows that make any bed look like a posh hotel offering. (AND on a practical level, they make reading or having coffee in bed sublime, and after years of cracking one’s neck on the wooden IKEA headboard, I cannot tell you the difference this small thing has made). The General makes the bed everyday like a pro (it’s sort of a military practice for him) and I admire its snowy smoothness and balanced peaks each time I pass by.
Exciting conclusion to the list will follow, in another post.
Please feel free to share your own tips however small!!
A great and timely column as we all have certain indulgences, pleasures, and fragments of tiny joys which get us through each grey day of lockdown. Here are 5 of mine:
1)Walking to and arriving at Storm Stayed Brewery each week. There is never a lineup to get in, and so solemnly quiet when you get in, a comely server to chat with, and there is beer.
2)Any time Jinny arrives home with groceries announcing. “I bought you a small treat”.
3)Any time we order take out.
4)Weekly 2 hours phone sessions on Sunday morning with bill.
5)Listening to the music of Arvo Part, daily.
Excellent suggestions! Will add Arvo to my own list! Treats are also just that, and very welcome.
Love these.
I feel so picked up! Your top ten is gloriously happy. Gee thanks for making me feel so good about breakfast, reading the NYT and being in lockdown with my favourite husband. The good life in these grim days.
Your special rituals are inspiring and uplifting. You are a wonderful author Sue I look forward to the next one.
My daily routine is becoming increasingly precious to me and yes breakfast and bedding are part of my pleasure too.
I am a very firm believer in finding whatever shred of joy you can in a given situation; tiny things add up. Ask a beach.