Introspection
A Good Day
On January 25, 2023 by Speranza
Earlier in the week, I gave myself permission to do whatever I liked. This is advice I frequently dole out to friends but rarely follow myself. I was free to squander time without paying heed to that mean inner voice which is poised and ready at any time of day or (especially) night to remind me that I should be more productive.
Or more attractive. Or more physically fit. Or more assertive. Or more of a risk taker, depending on the day.
But on this day, I allowed myself some simple, spontaneous “sparkles” one after another – fun, random things that seem too frivolous to happen regularly but really, why not? And we’re not talking white water rafting here or jumping out of a plane.
Just tiny pops of languid reading and relaxing.
Anxiety . Art for Art's Sake . Books
Villette
On February 17, 2020 by Speranza
I am now making a conscious decision not to bang on about how long it’s been since I last posted anything; suffice it to say, that the entire blog has been in a serious coma and I have been struggling to decide whether or not to pull the plug.
Today, I say, let us limp on a little yet.
Rightly so or not, I do feel a little proud of myself for recently finishing the brilliant but painfully slow read that is Villette, by Charlotte Brontë. The novel itself is not especially toothsome but necessary French translations and classical allusions demand constant referencing to the notes. I will say upfront that I had never even heard of this book till it was referenced by the queen of obscure cool, Patti Smith, who said that she was so moved by the book she had to write an alternative ending of her own.
Getting Older . Self-Esteem
Mutton Dressed as Lamb
On February 5, 2019 by Speranza
Many years ago now I was at a party with Some Other Parents and as the evening and wine progressed, one mother leaned in to me and nodded in the direction of the living room. There, a definitely attractive mum had decided to stand on a chair and dance in a manner usually associated with a pole. She was also singing in a Marilyn-infused whisper to whatever was playing at the time. (Alright, it was Meatloaf’s Paradise by the Dashboard Light, gack …) She was just on the cusp of that age where she could basically still get away with it, her body being firm, her hair artfully tousled and highlighted, full lips a shiny bubblegum pink.
But as the person next to me drily observed, “The guys are loving this – but if I stood on a chair? People would just laugh.”
And she was right.
Being A Mum . Frasier and Niles . Self-Esteem
The Party Line
On February 17, 2018 by Speranza
I remember reading in a psychology book, a simple but intriguing quiz in which one presents the following scenario to a friend:
You are at a party, everyone is chatting and enjoying some food and drink. For some reason, you are called away and leave the room.
What do you think that the guests are now saying about you?
I tossed this out to Frasier and Niles when they were hanging out having a beer with me in the kitchen one airless, summer evening. Niles really struggled and couldn’t come up with much. He questioned why they would be thinking anything at all and laughed that he didn’t much care anyway as he loped across to the fridge. Frasier, on the other hand, frowned and shrugged, shifting about in his chair; but when pressed, he admitted that he thought they would most likely be thinking: Hey, who brought THAT guy?
Which made us laugh. A lot.
For myself, I wondered if there might be a universal discussion as to how particularly unattractive I was.
SPOILER ALERT: Try it yourself before reading any further: what do YOU think these guests would be saying?