It’s nearly the middle of April and I am desperate, desperate for spring. I pace around the house looking at projects I want to get going on, corners I would like to scrub out with a toothbrush (yes, it’s come to this!) and the Pantry-of-Shame which is overflowing with partially full boxes of crackers, raisins from seven years ago and an unattractive waterfall of plastic bags. Every time I open the door I am ashamed and antsy to tackle it but when the weekend unfurls and time presents itself, I become strangely busy with other things and cannot bear the thought of committing an entire day to those little screws of paper with three pieces of macaroni in each one, gack …
I’m also watching the same pattern of promising myself, really hard, oath-taking promises here to do something (exercise; eat better; clean out the effing pantry) and then I watch myself not following-up.
This is not like me to procrastinate like this (or, is it) and I’ve become extremely frustrated with myself.
As the snows swirls sideways across my window, I re-read this poem and fall in love with D.H.Lawrence all over again. I feel as though his poetry is not celebrated as much as his so-called “dirty books” but to me, the poems are heady scraps of wisdom and depth, showing what a sensitive, insightful and thoughtful person he really was.
This poem is especially poignant to me because as a very young child, I remember crouching at the top of the stairs, hours after I had been sent to bed and straining my ears to catch what my parents and their friends (probably slightly tipsy) were singing as my mother played our stylin’, state-of-the-art Sixties organ and everyone sang along.
I hate it when people blame the weather for feeling down. If you have ever lived in the UK you quickly realize that if you are not going to go out till it stops raining/blowing/raining you are basically not going out for a very, very long time.
Say, your next birthday.
That said, it’s very disappointing to go away somewhere warm as a smug strategy for hurrying spring along only to find that it’s not only still snowing upon your return but there are gusts of wind that are shaking the house till it moans like an old clipper ship.
I always imagine those antique maps with that chubby cloud dude with the big cheeks in the corner, cupping his hands and blowing as hard as he can; but this is just my own meteorological whimsy to mask the terror within.
I just paid for that roof …
Okay this is the last in my series of posts about Puerto Vallarta and celebrates one of my favourite birds – the Pelican.
(I am not a nerd even though this is already starting to sound like an earnest Grade 3 essay.)
With their endearing pouchiness and slightly dour demeanor, to me, they are the flying curmudgeons of the sky, most often seen soaring in military trios, looking for all the world as though they should be wearing tiny Civil War hats. Their eyes also remind us that yes, birds really did evolve from raptors and there is an intelligence behind that steely gaze that commands respect and keeping one’s distance.
I did not pay close enough heed to either of these thoughts when I took the above photo of a previously blissed-out pelican, (reading glasses possibly pushed up onto his forehead as he dozed) and I thought I’d get a really good close-up shot of him in repose.