Introspection . My Father . Nostalgia . Self-Esteem . The General . Uncategorized
On Guard!
On October 9, 2023 by Speranza
The temperature outside has started to sharpen a little this week, just chilly enough to remind us what is coming. But unlike many (normal) people who are excited to welcome pumpkin-spice latte season or to enjoy the dramatic colours of the changing leaves, I find myself remembering the epic thrill of being selected as not only the class “monitor” but also, a school Crossing Guard …
I know what you’re thinking and you’re right.
These were heady times, indeed.
Cooking . Food . Nostalgia
Toast
On April 25, 2022 by Speranza
Can we talk about toast – just for a minute?
I never realized till quite recently (when The General was sighing about my “toast rules”) how particular I really am about this ubiquitous breakfast item. Or, how many times it has featured in my life from childhood to present.
Firstly, the way toast is prepared in the UK and the way it is done elsewhere is vastly different. Perhaps because the toast was traditionally fetched from a far off, frigid area of the house and often shuffled into a toast rack, (something I have always yearned for) somehow, the British toast often seems to end up on the coolish side. And, if the bread is thin and therefore tending to be crispy, I actually prefer this temperature: the toast is now a more solid vehicle for – let’s just say it – more butter (and Marmite!) and much less prone to collapsing into itself like other more pillowy, gummy breads tend to do. (Apologies to any ‘Texas Toast’ fanciers – but I.just.can’t.)
Of course, this is where my toast contrariness begins.
Nostalgia
Reel-to-Reel
On August 6, 2021 by Speranza
I’m sure that there is a name for that strange component of our brains that maintains a special vault for certain feelings or thoughts and then trundles them forward for examination sometimes quite unexpectedly. I most often experience this via my sense of smell: one minute I could be hurtling along, making a grocery list in my head – broccoli, yogurt, tinned tomatoes – and the next minute, the sweet smell of clover, a distinctive floral note I always associate with British summer is carried to me on the breeze and suddenly I’m sixteen, lying in the long grasses slow kissing a boy with eyes the colour of river pebbles. And yes, my stomach flips over a little bit just for a second or two then it’s gone.
Being A Mum . Frasier and Niles . Getting Older . Nostalgia
Sonny Days
On June 9, 2021 by Speranza
I’ve noticed recently that both Frasier and Niles have pulled back a bit in their communications with me; they would both immediately deny this, and yet it is true. For them, time is rushing past and they are totally absorbed in their partners, jobs and friends – and rightly so.
I understand this and well remember that the Starter Husband only communicated with his own parents at 3 pm every-few-dozen-Sundays when the flickering guilt refused to be tamped down any longer. (And to be fair, they made sure to call us weekly. But I do not envy the quality of those conversations either which basically involved asking: “How are you getting on at work?” in varying ways).
For Frasier and Niles, weekends are festive but necessarily marked by the stocking up of food, the cleaning of bathrooms and hopefully, spectacular afternoons spent in bed, followed by an ÜberEats delivery. But, because I am now getting older, not only does this lack of contact make me feel irrelevant, the whole thing is such a tired, grasping cliché. I always felt certain that someone of my own extreme coolness might be spared from such things – unlike that poor wretch Harry Chapin.
British Stuff . Covid Times . Hope . My Mother . Nostalgia . The General
A New November
On November 10, 2020 by Speranza
Each year I dread November. As well as unconsciously shuffling through tightly compressed memories of my mother’s death (43 years ago) and all the associated bleakness both outside and within, I can hardly bear the early darkness that creeps in after a five o’clock sky, flecked with pink. I am flooded with memories of living in Britain and that particular deep reaching dampness that can only really be remedied with a large Scotch in a steaming bath. (And at seventeen, as now, I don’t even drink Scotch …)