Anxiety . Christmas . Divorce . Grey Divorce . The General
Christmas Past and Present
On January 7, 2016 by Speranza
I was really rattled this Christmas when I suddenly realized that I could scale back the baking considerably. I was also more suspicious than relieved. The need for a pyramid of mincemeat tarts, hamper-sized bags of potato chips and a massive raft of San Pellegrino usually associated with the weeks leading up to the holidays would just not be required this year; worse still, even though I have had neither of my boys living at home for more than a year now, I have somehow been unconsciously assuming that the situation was temporary and that soon everything would revert to its Normal State.
Whatever that is.
Christmas is a bit tricky too because there’s no one at home and then everyone returns home for a day or two, here and there, maybe dropping in for a dinner just long enough to reignite all the same maternal brain-patterns as before: sock donuts may be left tucked into the couch, fancy Christmas hand towels are hung up with the pattern on the inside or not hung up at all and why doesn’t someone text if they won’t be back till 3:30am when they are staying over …
Being A Mum . My Mother . Photography . The General
Some Things Really are Black and White
On September 11, 2015 by Speranza
It never ceases to delight me how much one small thing can just alter your entire mood and perception.
Tonight for example, The General and I had already decided that a documentary would be just the thing to round out our simple BBQ fare but by the time everything was assembled, I was already starting to feel churlish about it, not sure if I really wanted to “think” after such a long day at the office and generally, finding all kinds of reasons that we should once more revert to the dreadfully predictable choices provided by Basic Cable.
(It’s a bit like ordering fast food when you are desperate, already knowing what the outcome will be and despising yourself when it’s all over.)
Anxiety . Introspection . The General . Travel
Maine Matters
On August 25, 2015 by Speranza
I’m trying to analyze today what it is about a good getaway holiday – however brief – that really refreshes and accelerates the whole self-actualization process or the struggle to “do better” and slow down. I should just add, that as a real homebody, no matter how much I yearn to go on vacation, when the inevitable prep work presents itself with all its lists, last minute dashes to the drug store/pet food store/ drug store again I always get this panicky, desperate feeling that if someone whispered: “You know what? Don’t go – you don’t even have to go!” I would be hugely relieved to comply. I also feel the need to cram in time to ponder my imminent death from various means and whether or not I will ever return.
Yes, it’s a real laugh riot here during the holiday season!