Category: The General

On Guard!

 

The temperature outside has started to sharpen a little this week, just chilly enough to remind us what is coming. But unlike many (normal) people who are excited to welcome pumpkin-spice latte season or to enjoy the dramatic colours of the changing leaves, I find myself remembering the epic thrill of being selected as not only the class “monitor” but also, a school Crossing Guard …

I know what you’re thinking and you’re right.

These were heady times, indeed.

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Old Yeller

 

I pride myself on being a decisive person but because I am also a frugal one, I cannot abide expensive mistakes. As I embark on another painting adventure (a bathroom, this time) I do not want to get the colour wrong particularly when I’ll be using a top price paint like Benjamin Moore. (Careful readers may recall my previous, joyous renovation recounted here not long ago).

I was especially rattled because this particular bathroom has remained a poisonous Cough Drop Yellow for many years instead of the pale Shortbread I had in mind. But I just couldn’t face the stress of tackling it again. (And take note, this heinous colour was from a cheap and unpleasant paint store that just happened to be closer. Never again).

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More Veggies Please

 

I own more than a few cookbooks. I even maintain a small ‘vintage’ collection whose tomes often include amusing “household management” tips in the back. What is the point of this, you ask? Well, if the internet goes down, at least I will still know how best to whiten The General’s spats, while I’m jugging a few hares in the larder …

Anyway, the point is, despite all the recipes online (and a set of binders that house personal recipes!) I still struggle with how to cook with less meat. Although I really love veggies – not a huge carnivore at all – the main motivation is to do The Right Thing for our burning planet and now, frankly, my budget. But over and over by Wednesday I grow bored with tomato based dinners, anything approaching Tex-Mex or soaking cashews overnight. (I have tried, I am sorry – as a texture person I simply cannot embrace the vegan staple of “cashew cream.”) There is something about this putty-hued sludge that just makes me gag.

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You Can Leave your Ham On

I overheard a conversation lately in which an exasperated older woman was sharing that she now avoided asking her husband any question, no matter how small, because of the endless, elaborate answers he supplied. “I mean, I just asked what time it was,” she sighed, “And he somehow started in on the history of how clocks are made …”

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Whatever the Weather

 

Nothing is more boring than talking about the weather: what it’s going to do, what it might do, what “they” said it was supposed to do and then never did. All of this prattling makes me crazy and doesn’t even count as small talk in my book. That said, The General takes a keen interest in all-things-weather and yet, strangely is rarely satisfied. He is, in fact, A Goldilocks for All Seasons. There are approximately three days during the year when he will admit to the weather being “not too bad” and suitable for whatever it is he needs to do.

I recently pointed out that although he complained hourly last winter about blowing snow, frigid temperatures (or, as the weather-nerds will have it, The Polar Vortex) as soon as the spring sun began to warm the earth and I tried to lure him outside to a sheltered, sunny nook on the deck, he shook his head rapidly, shocked, saying it was far too wet and besides, “they” had said it was going to turn cold again that night. In summer, of course, it’s usually too hot, dangerous even, to be in the garden for too long and where was that sunscreen/hat/protective eye wear anyway etc.

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