Introspection . My Father . Nostalgia . Self-Esteem . The General . Uncategorized
On Guard!
On October 9, 2023 by Speranza
The temperature outside has started to sharpen a little this week, just chilly enough to remind us what is coming. But unlike many (normal) people who are excited to welcome pumpkin-spice latte season or to enjoy the dramatic colours of the changing leaves, I find myself remembering the epic thrill of being selected as not only the class “monitor” but also, a school Crossing Guard …
I know what you’re thinking and you’re right.
These were heady times, indeed.
Introspection
The Guest House by Rumi
On March 7, 2023 by Speranza
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Introspection
A Good Day
On January 25, 2023 by Speranza
Earlier in the week, I gave myself permission to do whatever I liked. This is advice I frequently dole out to friends but rarely follow myself. I was free to squander time without paying heed to that mean inner voice which is poised and ready at any time of day or (especially) night to remind me that I should be more productive.
Or more attractive. Or more physically fit. Or more assertive. Or more of a risk taker, depending on the day.
But on this day, I allowed myself some simple, spontaneous “sparkles” one after another – fun, random things that seem too frivolous to happen regularly but really, why not? And we’re not talking white water rafting here or jumping out of a plane.
Just tiny pops of languid reading and relaxing.
British Stuff . Christmas . Friendship . Introspection
‘Tis Better to Give than to Receive
On December 13, 2021 by Speranza
A number of Christmases ago, an elderly friend of mine that I have known for many years invited me in for a snifter of Baileys’ Irish cream. As I was shedding my coat and stamping the snow off my boots at the door, she was already ranting about the price of cheese, the rudeness of that woman at the bank and the tardiness of a new letter-carrier who also had the audacity to cut across her lawn. In December. If you are imagining a sweet-natured, gentle older lady please stop now. This person once literally chased one of those conserving-energy types with a clipboard up to the corner of the street, shouting the F word and advising him not to come back.
And, I remain very confident that he did not.
Gardening . Getting Older . Introspection
In My Salad Days
On May 30, 2021 by Speranza
When I am working in the garden, I tend to go into a meditative state. All kinds of memories and thoughts rush through my head like water in a colander and I try very hard not to ruminate about why these things are presenting themselves today.
As I was on my knees pulling at a gnarled root, I suddenly recalled from many years ago, an older gentleman who was always working in his garden as we drove by at 7:30 am on our way to work. One morning he was toting a kettle, still steaming in the morning chill and carefully doused all the tough, roots-of-iron weeds that lurked between the sidewalk cracks.
“God, what a loser. Talk about having no life,” my Starter-Husband commented, shaking his sleek head still damp from the shower. “Take me, I’m done.”
I’m sure that I laughed in agreement, probably applying lipstick in the pull down mirror of our Subaru as I watched the little man in his tweeds disappearing slowly from view as we sped away. Starter Husband and myself were both in our twenties at the time: we attended designer gym classes with a personal trainer; we were well acquainted with Clinique’s 3-Step cleansing program and apparently, smugly incapable of reading that man’s situation in any other, more complex way. I am deeply ashamed and tearful when I think of that old man now.